Every year I sit down just before the ball drops and the confetti rains and I write down my goals and aspirations for the coming year. Then I fold it up and tuck it into my wallet and fight the urge to read it again until a year passes. By that time I forget what I have written and I get to evaluate whether the year was a 'success' or 'failure'.
As I sit to write my aspirations for 2012, this is what I have to reflect upon from the 2010 edition:
[Written December 31, 2010]
Well, to say the least, 2010 was not what was expected. It was hard, difficult indeed for all those reasons. There were so many lost promises to others, but more importantly to yourself. At this point you really haven't done anything. By now you're out of college, but what else? I hope you are reading this from a small apartment on the coast, taking off your suit and settling in after a successful day. I hope you are in love, laughing everyday, fulfilling all of your dreams. I hope you got published, I hope your social network spans far beyond Facebook.
But most of all I hope you have become a man among boys, a gentleman in every way possible. I hope you worry about your looks, I hope you stopped swearing at every instant, I hope you stopped being afraid to do what's right. I hope you worked hard and never settled.
No more promises. No more guarantees. 2011 is going to be the year that defines you as a person. This is a challenge, did you live up to it and take those chances, make those mistakes and give it all you had?
Live, Love, Laugh
Friday, December 30, 2011
The Hunt Begins
First, I must apologize. There is supposed to be a new short story posted, Twitter says so. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get around to completely posting it today. See, I was job hunting.
Yes, even wannabe authors need a day job.
If I had it my way I would leave this life and shack up in a cramped studio apartment downtown and live off Ramen and just tweak my novel for the next 6 months, letting my beard grow long, lighting candles to save on electricity and avoiding my landlord at the end of each month.
But my parents weren't in full support of that plan. And despite how great that life sounds, they are probably right.
So armed with a cup of Seattle coffee (I missed you while away) I entered several establishments (sorry, no free advertising here) and handed in applications. I am still scouring the web and posting resumes everywhere.
Crossing fingers that something comes up quick, something fun and exciting, something that gets me meeting people in this neighborhood. Really, I just want something!
Yes, even wannabe authors need a day job.
If I had it my way I would leave this life and shack up in a cramped studio apartment downtown and live off Ramen and just tweak my novel for the next 6 months, letting my beard grow long, lighting candles to save on electricity and avoiding my landlord at the end of each month.
But my parents weren't in full support of that plan. And despite how great that life sounds, they are probably right.
So armed with a cup of Seattle coffee (I missed you while away) I entered several establishments (sorry, no free advertising here) and handed in applications. I am still scouring the web and posting resumes everywhere.
Crossing fingers that something comes up quick, something fun and exciting, something that gets me meeting people in this neighborhood. Really, I just want something!
"The Old Year," by John Clare
The Old Year's gone away
To nothingness and night:
We cannot find him all the day
Nor hear him in the night:
He left no footstep, mark or place
In either shade or sun:
The last year he'd a neighbour's face,
In this he's known by none.
All nothing everywhere:
Mists we on mornings see
Have more of substance when they're here
And more of form than he.
He was a friend by every fire,
In every cot and hall--
A guest to every heart's desire,
And now he's nought at all.
Old papers thrown away,
Old garments cast aside,
The talk of yesterday,
Are things identified;
But time once torn away
No voices can recall:
The eve of New Year's Day
Left the Old Year lost to all.
With New Yer's less than 48-hours away, this seemed appropriate. A Happy 2012 to all!
To nothingness and night:
We cannot find him all the day
Nor hear him in the night:
He left no footstep, mark or place
In either shade or sun:
The last year he'd a neighbour's face,
In this he's known by none.
All nothing everywhere:
Mists we on mornings see
Have more of substance when they're here
And more of form than he.
He was a friend by every fire,
In every cot and hall--
A guest to every heart's desire,
And now he's nought at all.
Old papers thrown away,
Old garments cast aside,
The talk of yesterday,
Are things identified;
But time once torn away
No voices can recall:
The eve of New Year's Day
Left the Old Year lost to all.
With New Yer's less than 48-hours away, this seemed appropriate. A Happy 2012 to all!
Finally home
Sometimes I say things like this because I think I'm funny (and very modest), but the washer tried to eat my shirt this afternoon. No really! I had to pull the sucker out from under the agitator, I thought it was a goner for sure.
Welcome home to me!
After departing Hancock Airport at 6am EST this morning I arrived in Seattle about 10:30 local time. I love how traveling west saves you those three hours. I also love that I am more comfortable in this neighborhood than when I was in my own hometown, maybe its the convenience of being in the suburbs here, not the farm country of Upstate New York.
Or maybe it means I'm home.
I discovered somethings about myself in my three weeks in New York. For one, I drive faster, which doesn't sound like much probably, but to a 22-year old kid that once felt like he was a 45 year old father driving a minivan around town and following speed limits, it was a sweet realization.
I also realized I'm much more outspoken about my beliefs after spending 6 months in Seattle. I have always considered myself a liberal, but in the words of an old man I met here my first week, I've become a 'liberal' liberal. Really though, being here has just enhanced my positions on marijuana legalization (for), gay rights (pro) and some other usual hot topic issues. I found myself arguing with my own father this break about why gay marriage should be legal, and not that either of us came away with a different stance, but to feel like I could stand my ground on the issue and believe in what I was saying was a first.
Some friends come and go, and some last forever. The ones that last forever are the ones you can see after years of being apart and can pick up in conversations like you had been away only a few hours. I saw my old high school friends for a great but way too short reunion and reminisced about old Spanish teachers and skipping class, getting into (and out of) trouble. As hard as we try to push away certain parts of our pasts, it is refreshing to miss it. I love them all and thank them for creating the person I was then and am now.
And finally, not that this was news, but I realized that Seattle is my home. I love my family, I miss them dearly when I leave, and I miss my friends and glimpses of my old life, but the only reason I appreciate them so much is because of my time here. I have grown into a child, and chased away the old man inside of me.
Welcome home.
Welcome home to me!
After departing Hancock Airport at 6am EST this morning I arrived in Seattle about 10:30 local time. I love how traveling west saves you those three hours. I also love that I am more comfortable in this neighborhood than when I was in my own hometown, maybe its the convenience of being in the suburbs here, not the farm country of Upstate New York.
Or maybe it means I'm home.
I discovered somethings about myself in my three weeks in New York. For one, I drive faster, which doesn't sound like much probably, but to a 22-year old kid that once felt like he was a 45 year old father driving a minivan around town and following speed limits, it was a sweet realization.
I also realized I'm much more outspoken about my beliefs after spending 6 months in Seattle. I have always considered myself a liberal, but in the words of an old man I met here my first week, I've become a 'liberal' liberal. Really though, being here has just enhanced my positions on marijuana legalization (for), gay rights (pro) and some other usual hot topic issues. I found myself arguing with my own father this break about why gay marriage should be legal, and not that either of us came away with a different stance, but to feel like I could stand my ground on the issue and believe in what I was saying was a first.
Some friends come and go, and some last forever. The ones that last forever are the ones you can see after years of being apart and can pick up in conversations like you had been away only a few hours. I saw my old high school friends for a great but way too short reunion and reminisced about old Spanish teachers and skipping class, getting into (and out of) trouble. As hard as we try to push away certain parts of our pasts, it is refreshing to miss it. I love them all and thank them for creating the person I was then and am now.
And finally, not that this was news, but I realized that Seattle is my home. I love my family, I miss them dearly when I leave, and I miss my friends and glimpses of my old life, but the only reason I appreciate them so much is because of my time here. I have grown into a child, and chased away the old man inside of me.
Welcome home.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Winter's Chill
There's a chill under my skin that I can't shake.
It must be Christmas!
The winter air has lingered, staying cold and unfriendly despite their being no more than traces of snow. If I ever move across state lines again I'm picking a place that is sunny and warm twelve months out of the year. Seattle is great, but I know that when I get back in a week the weather will be the same as it is here in Syracuse.
But there is a certain joy from sitting in front of a roaring fire and feeling the heat soak into your body and heat your bones. Something about the warmth of a flame that feels better than any other heat source (the only exception being a loving woman).
Nevertheless, having to curl under a blanket and throw on an extra hoodie has my mind wandering to warmer climates. I missed the sun so much today I changed my Facebook picture to a summer shot of Alki Beach, just to add a little sunshine into my life.
Too desperate?
But with each chill in my toes my mind races to warm sand under my feet, the rush of sea water crashing against the shore, and cool margarita in my hand and sun tanned skin. I find myself reclined in a beach chair with a good book, with the soothing melody of wooden chimes in the wind.
No worries, only six months until the sun really comes back.
But for now, care for a margarita?
It must be Christmas!
The winter air has lingered, staying cold and unfriendly despite their being no more than traces of snow. If I ever move across state lines again I'm picking a place that is sunny and warm twelve months out of the year. Seattle is great, but I know that when I get back in a week the weather will be the same as it is here in Syracuse.
But there is a certain joy from sitting in front of a roaring fire and feeling the heat soak into your body and heat your bones. Something about the warmth of a flame that feels better than any other heat source (the only exception being a loving woman).
Nevertheless, having to curl under a blanket and throw on an extra hoodie has my mind wandering to warmer climates. I missed the sun so much today I changed my Facebook picture to a summer shot of Alki Beach, just to add a little sunshine into my life.
Too desperate?
But with each chill in my toes my mind races to warm sand under my feet, the rush of sea water crashing against the shore, and cool margarita in my hand and sun tanned skin. I find myself reclined in a beach chair with a good book, with the soothing melody of wooden chimes in the wind.
No worries, only six months until the sun really comes back.
But for now, care for a margarita?
Early progress
There was a dusting of snow on the ground this morning. Will it stick around, will there be a white Christmas after all? Who knows, but it would be nice.
I got motivated today and wrote a whole 2,000 words between eating lunch and watching the noon time news. I feel like that was a lot considering my lack of motivation during this time home. Problem is it was scattered over three separate shorts.
I don't think that's how it's supposed to work, but that's just how my brain functioned this morning. Poor thing is all confused ...
I got motivated today and wrote a whole 2,000 words between eating lunch and watching the noon time news. I feel like that was a lot considering my lack of motivation during this time home. Problem is it was scattered over three separate shorts.
I don't think that's how it's supposed to work, but that's just how my brain functioned this morning. Poor thing is all confused ...
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Where's the snow?
I never quite understood what Seattlites meant when they said Seattle rain wasn't real rain. What is real rain? Isn't water falling from the sky and soaking my mood considered real rain?
It took me coming back to Central New York and watching the raindrops splashing off the pavement outside my porch window to see real rain, not the Seattle mist.
By the way CNY, where's the snow? It's December 22nd and it's 45 degrees outside. What gives?
I'm rattling an idea in my brain for an alternative Christmas story, sort of a 'Miracle on 34th Street' meets 'Men in Black'. I think it'll be a fun project, although the more I think about it the less I'm motivated to start writing it. But I consider it a good way to step out of my element a little. I write way too many first person romance stories, and being a single male, I'm not really into creating a love life for someone else at this point.
My goal has become to write 1000 words per day. I figure if I can write that much, no matter what I'm writing, my motivation will stay up and I'll be knocking off small projects in no time.
I'm also trying to decide on submitting a flash fiction piece. It's hard being my own worse critic.
It took me coming back to Central New York and watching the raindrops splashing off the pavement outside my porch window to see real rain, not the Seattle mist.
By the way CNY, where's the snow? It's December 22nd and it's 45 degrees outside. What gives?
I'm rattling an idea in my brain for an alternative Christmas story, sort of a 'Miracle on 34th Street' meets 'Men in Black'. I think it'll be a fun project, although the more I think about it the less I'm motivated to start writing it. But I consider it a good way to step out of my element a little. I write way too many first person romance stories, and being a single male, I'm not really into creating a love life for someone else at this point.
My goal has become to write 1000 words per day. I figure if I can write that much, no matter what I'm writing, my motivation will stay up and I'll be knocking off small projects in no time.
I'm also trying to decide on submitting a flash fiction piece. It's hard being my own worse critic.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Being Accountable
The whole point to create a blog (besides selfish promotion) is to for a base of accountability. For years I have wanted to write and follow certain dreams, but I've discovered since moving to West Seattle that I am, believe it or not, extremely lazy! There was never a push to finish those small projects, and my large ones stared at me with ridicule.
This is where that changes!
Here's a list of the things I hope to accomplish in my life, some short term, others very long term:
Graduate college (DONE!)
Move cross country (DONE)
Write a book (HALF DONE 12/20/2011)
Publish collection of poetry and shorts (HALF DONE 12/20/2011)
Write a movie script
Have my script turned into a movie
Buy my own home
Own my own car (DONE)
Buy a cow
Get married
Have kids
Retire Young
Own my own restaurant
Get those 6-pack abs!
There are many, many more which I'm sure will be added over time, and you will be updated on the progression of the writing projects (again, selfish promotion). I know that I am not alone in these endeavors, so like the URL suggests, this is a place to talk about your progress. Nag me, please, we all need a little push every now and then to stay motivated.
Set unreasonable goals and believe you can achieve extraordinary results. Don't live up to your expectations and settle there, exceed them!
This is where that changes!
Here's a list of the things I hope to accomplish in my life, some short term, others very long term:
Graduate college (DONE!)
Move cross country (DONE)
Write a book (HALF DONE 12/20/2011)
Publish collection of poetry and shorts (HALF DONE 12/20/2011)
Write a movie script
Have my script turned into a movie
Buy my own home
Own my own car (DONE)
Buy a cow
Get married
Have kids
Retire Young
Own my own restaurant
Get those 6-pack abs!
There are many, many more which I'm sure will be added over time, and you will be updated on the progression of the writing projects (again, selfish promotion). I know that I am not alone in these endeavors, so like the URL suggests, this is a place to talk about your progress. Nag me, please, we all need a little push every now and then to stay motivated.
Set unreasonable goals and believe you can achieve extraordinary results. Don't live up to your expectations and settle there, exceed them!
New Year's Resolutions
Is it time already to start thinking about my New Year's resolutions?
I do this every year, but this year I have a new found confidence that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to. I mean, last year (like the three years prior) I was trying to get myself to travel and see the country. Then back in June, after graduation, I picked up and moved clear cross the country from Upstate NY to Seattle, WA. So what's keeping me from accomplishing this year's list of resolutions? If I can leave my family, friends and life and start completely new on the other side of the world, I could certainly:
Finish my novel (half done as of now)
Maintain a steady 200 pound body weight, and get some definition (Yes, I may be the only person looking to GAIN weight this year)
Not really difficult, right? And within those goals is my added necessity to find steady work, generate a reliable income stream and eat better (I've nailed the healthy, now the quantity must be checked), and getting out to experience more. So here we go!
Last year I told myself to stop making promises, to stop making these resolutions because, quite frankly, they mean diddly when instead of exercising you're playing video games and being antisocial. But over the past 6 months I've learned to take myself less seriously, I've learned to conquer my fears (though I'm still working on that).
In 2012, I want to get my heart broken, I want to go out and wake up on a Thursday morning and forget what happened the night before. I want to be confident and cash in, wear a tie around my neck, dance and climb mountains, I want to break my emotional barriers and release my creativity. I want to explore what it means to be human, and push my body to the point of exhaustion just to see how it feels. I want to catch looks of desire at the beach and the diner, sipping coffee between flirtatious exchanges.
I want to continue living.
My resolution is to keep doing what I've been doing, only better!
That is my main reason behind this blog, because I have given up so many times before with my dreams and hopes. I am hoping this gives me some level of accountability, a way to guilt myself into accomplishing what I say I want to do. Time for more action, less talk!
I do this every year, but this year I have a new found confidence that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to. I mean, last year (like the three years prior) I was trying to get myself to travel and see the country. Then back in June, after graduation, I picked up and moved clear cross the country from Upstate NY to Seattle, WA. So what's keeping me from accomplishing this year's list of resolutions? If I can leave my family, friends and life and start completely new on the other side of the world, I could certainly:
Finish my novel (half done as of now)
Maintain a steady 200 pound body weight, and get some definition (Yes, I may be the only person looking to GAIN weight this year)
Not really difficult, right? And within those goals is my added necessity to find steady work, generate a reliable income stream and eat better (I've nailed the healthy, now the quantity must be checked), and getting out to experience more. So here we go!
Last year I told myself to stop making promises, to stop making these resolutions because, quite frankly, they mean diddly when instead of exercising you're playing video games and being antisocial. But over the past 6 months I've learned to take myself less seriously, I've learned to conquer my fears (though I'm still working on that).
In 2012, I want to get my heart broken, I want to go out and wake up on a Thursday morning and forget what happened the night before. I want to be confident and cash in, wear a tie around my neck, dance and climb mountains, I want to break my emotional barriers and release my creativity. I want to explore what it means to be human, and push my body to the point of exhaustion just to see how it feels. I want to catch looks of desire at the beach and the diner, sipping coffee between flirtatious exchanges.
I want to continue living.
My resolution is to keep doing what I've been doing, only better!
That is my main reason behind this blog, because I have given up so many times before with my dreams and hopes. I am hoping this gives me some level of accountability, a way to guilt myself into accomplishing what I say I want to do. Time for more action, less talk!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
